"Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride"
January 14, 2007: 2nd Sunday after Epiphany, Year C
The Rev. John MacIver Gage, senior minister
United Church on the Green, UCC: New Haven, CT
www.unitedchurchonthegreen.org

Scripture:
Isaiah 62:1-5
(Introduction:) Our first reading this morning comes from the book of the prophet Isaiah, chapter 62, verses 1 through 5. As a whole, the book of Isaiah addresses the people of Judah's experience before, during, and after their defeat and exile in Babylon in the 6th Century before the Common Era. In particular, this reading comes from what is usually referred to as Third Isaiah, the last portion of the book, where the prophet tells the bruised and battered people that after hardship there will be good news, that God will redeem them and bless them before the eyes of the world. Listen now to these words from Isaiah, chapter 62:

For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest, until her vindication shines out like the dawn, and her salvation like a burning torch. The nations shall see your vindication, and all the kings your glory; and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give. You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed "Forsaken," and your land shall no more be termed "Desolate;" but you shall be called "My Delight Is in Her," and your land "Married;" for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your builder marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

John 2:1-11
(Introduction:) Our second reading comes from the Gospel According to John, chapter 2, verses 1 through 11. In John's chronology, this story of the Wedding Feast stands as Jesus' first miracle and serves to set the tone for his ministry throughout the Fourth Gospel, during which the glory of God will be revealed through the most ordinary elements of life: water and wine and bread, laughter and tears. Listen now to John, chapter 2:

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine." And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you." Now standing there were six stone water-jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, "Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward." So they took it. When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom and said to him, "Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now." Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

"May God speak through these words and make from them a holy word for us today. Amen."

Sermon:
As a minister, I get to go to a lot of weddings. There are few joys quite like standing up with a couple I know well, friends, helping them knit themselves together in loving covenant commitment, surrounded by supportive family and friends. And since I'm a minister here at United, in this meetinghouse, so beautiful and spacious and conveniently located near the interstate and major hotels and banquet facilities, so conveniently free, too, from a lot of messy theological red tape, and reasonably priced, even, I get to go to a lot of weddings for people I hardly know at all. Of course by the time we get here I've met with them for several pre-marital counseling sessions and helped them plan the service itself, but, in the end, it can be a little odd standing there at the heart of things at the head of the aisle, but one crucial step removed.

As a single person, it can be doubly odd. Being one of the un-married at a wedding can be bittersweet. I'll ask the singles in the congregation this morning to back me up on this one. Of course, you're happy for the happy couple, but you also have to face the loss of yet one more single friend, and the possibilities for spur of the moment, late night and weekend companionship they represent. And then there's the reinforcement factor. Weddings serve to reinforce the bonds between couples who are already married. You can see it at any service, the way they sit with their arms around each other in the pew, fondly remembering their own wedding day, as they prepare to welcome two more lucky people into the blessed institution.

No, I confess, as a single person, and, yes, as a gay person living outside the state of Massachusetts, weddings can be a mixed bag for me. Despite the familiar strains of First Corinthians 13 telling me that "love is patient, love it kind," wedding resentment can simmer just beneath the surface, like greasy Chicken Kiev at the buffet. Envy can rear its ugly head at any moment, like a drunken party guest. I mean, really, why not me? Why does everyone else get the loving partner and the promises... and the presents? When is it my turn? Why am I always a bridesmaid and never a bride? I already own the dress—er, I mean, kilt.

In many places throughout scripture, the coming Reign of God, in which all God's purposes of justice, peace, and compassion will be accomplished, is described as a wedding feast. That day, that way of life, will be like a great celebration, we're told, when God's Own Self will be joined forever to God's beloved people—Israel, the church—in covenant bonds of loving faithfulness, just a couple is joined in wedded bliss. In our reading for this morning, the prophet Isaiah assures the people that "as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your maker marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you." Similarly, in John's Gospel, Jesus' ministry opens with his first sign at the wedding feast at Cana, and that celebration of loving union sets the tone for all that comes after. The Gospel tells us that Jesus came to us because "God so loved the world" (3:16) and it is John's Jesus who, in turn, tells his disciples, "Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another" (13:35).

Which is great if, in fact, you believe God loves you, that God chooses you, that you are a "crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God," as Isaiah puts it. But for too many of us, that news is just too good to believe. Too many of us can hear John's story of that famous wedding feast at Cana and still feel like outsiders looking in. We can hear the music and smell the food and almost taste the wine, but we know it is not for us, but for God's chosen, God's beloved, and we, we are not chosen, not beloved, not enough. At least that's what we've been told for so long we've come to believe it ourselves: that because we are not good enough or strong enough or rich enough or white enough or employed enough or straight enough or old enough or young enough or even married enough, God does not love us enough to choose us. We've been told that we get the silly peach party dress, not the lovely lace veil. We are the bridesmaids, but, oh no, never the brides.

But the real good news, which we can believe, is that God's love is more than enough. This wedding is not some tasteful little private ceremony. It is a feast! It is abundant, exuberant, extravagant. Perhaps you missed that bit in the Cana story. Jesus didn't just make a little wine, you know, an extra bottle or two just to cover the waning hours of the festivities. Listen again. "Standing there were six stone water jars, each holding twenty or thirty gallons," and they were filled not halfway, but to the brim. So you do the math. According to John, Jesus made nearly two hundred gallons of wine that night, and not just any wine, but the very best, and not just as a miracle, a kind of parlor trick to impress us with God's power, but a sign, a sign of what God's love for us is like: unpredictable, overflowing, joyful and sweet. And God chooses to lavish that love not just one person, or one people, but on the whole wide world. God chooses the world. God loves the world.

This is the love God offers us—all of us—today in the sign of Jesus. Like those stone water jars, once as empty as tombs, the whole world now is filled to overflowing with God's love, so that there is no more room for resentment or envy or ill-feeling. The bridegroom stands here now, at the head of the aisle, breathing tender love, ready to be bound to you... and you... and you as a loving partner with covenant promises that cannot be broken, not ever. This isn't not some fairy tale, some Harlequin romance. This is the real deal, believe it. This is the mighty word of God, the powerful, redeeming love of God, God's passion made flesh among us, and in us, and through us.

Because of course this good news is not for us alone, but is ours from God through Christ to share with the whole world. We are called to carry the invitation to all who need to hear that God's love is indeed for them, too. We're supposed to tell anyone who will listen, and even those who won't, "The feast is ready, friends. Come fill the hall. Come sing the songs and savor the food and enjoy the wine—oh, the wine!—for today we celebrate a marriage made in heaven!" And when they ask us just whose wedding it is, we can smile and say, "Why, yours of course. God loves you, and so you shall no more be termed 'Forsaken,' and your land shall no more be termed 'Desolate;' but you shall be called 'God's Delight is In You,' and your land 'Married;' for the Lord delights in you."

The author of John's Gospel had the right of it. The wedding at Cana is a very good place from which to start out on our journey to with Jesus. Because this is the heart of the good news of great joy which is for all the people, all the people. This is the dream of the prophets and the sign of the savior, that the Lord delights in you—yes, you, even you, if that's what you need to hear, all of you—and in God's love you are transformed. This your party, too. You don't have to stay one step-removed, always on the outside looking in. The church is open, the congregation gathered. All we're missing is you. Come in, walk down the aisle, clothed with garments of salvation, covered with a robe of righteousness, as though you are decked with a garland and adorned with jewels. For you are beloved by God, and therefore lovely. In God's love, you are a bridesmaid no more, but always and forever a bride. And, honey, you go, 'cause it looks good on you!